Angus McDecoy Escapes From the Clutches of EVE Commune and Maniacal Madman Garheade!

In what can only be described as a daring move of the utmost stupidity, Angus McDecoy of Fly Reckless escaped from the station in Scheenins where Garheade and Chainer Cygnus of EVE Commune were holding him captive under a couch purportedly stolen from (and we can only assume violated many times over by) the Space Monkey Alliance.

While the ransom, and more (upwards of 7 billion isk), was collected, Garheade decided that he was not going to free Angus, and instead would keep him permanently under the couch.

Angus was able to escape in a Viator and immediately warped to the Jufvitte system to escape the clutches of Garheade and Chainer. Capsuleer Garomero was soon seen to be in pursuit of Angus. Forward scouts for EVE Commune were able to locate Angus in the Ouelletta system, and pursued him to the first asteroid belt in the system, where, with the assistance of Relicc, Tyen, Xindo, and Marcel Devereux, Garomero and Chainer destroyed his ship followed quickly by his pod.

After being podkilled, Angus immediately awoke in a station that I am sure is very far away from Scheenins, a free man.

What follows is the transcript from the botched escape:

[ 2011.04.16 03:52:48 ] Garheade > Ok, we’ve decided not to release angus
[ 2011.04.16 03:52:57 ] Alastair Athonille > 😮
[ 2011.04.16 03:53:03 ] Mark726 > dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
[ 2011.04.16 03:53:19 ] Garheade > We like him under our couch
[ 2011.04.16 03:53:25 ] Demortes > You guys raise the 2bil?
[ 2011.04.16 03:53:28 ] Chainer Cygnus > Excellent Lumbar support
[ 2011.04.16 03:54:11 ] Garheade > 6.8 billion
[ 2011.04.16 03:54:17 ] Demortes > O.O
[ 2011.04.16 03:54:19 ] Demortes > wtf
[ 2011.04.16 03:54:19 ] Altera Xilinx > damn
[ 2011.04.16 03:54:40 ] Demortes > OK, from now on, I kidnapped Garheade and Chainer…. I’ll release them for 30bil
[ 2011.04.16 03:55:39 ] Chainer Cygnus > You couldn’t kidnap me. I’d just jump bridge in a trebuchet and launch myself out.
[ 2011.04.16 03:55:40 ] Demortes > lmfao
[ 2011.04.16 03:56:54 ] Demortes > nvm
[ 2011.04.16 03:57:05 ] Garheade > yup. Angus is staying right here….
[ 2011.04.16 03:57:22 ] Mark726 > run, angus, run!
[ 2011.04.16 03:58:12 ] Brentum Kaltarr > I just hope you guys don’t store your Trebuchet in the basement with the couch … oh wait, ceilings.
[ 2011.04.16 03:58:52 ] Chainer Cygnus > I keep it in my back pocket
[ 2011.04.16 03:59:00 ] Garheade > Angus is going no wear!
[ 2011.04.16 03:59:06 ] Demortes > nowhere
[ 2011.04.16 03:59:15 ] Mark726 > I’ll break into your house and free him if I have to
[ 2011.04.16 03:59:23 ] Garheade > fail at typing
[ 2011.04.16 03:59:24 ] Brentum Kaltarr > Angus is no wear!? Thanks, really needed that image
[ 2011.04.16 04:00:05 ] Krispy Dingo > oh no, angus is nekkid?
[ 2011.04.16 04:00:16 ] Chainer Cygnus > Mark bring it. We have cans properly anchored so that your buzzard will decloak and go pop.
[ 2011.04.16 04:00:31 ] Stevilll > No, that’s Jayne who doesn’t wear pants!
[ 2011.04.16 04:00:44 ] Mark726 > ha, at the rate you’d have to place cans I could petition you :-p
[ 2011.04.16 04:01:23 ] Demortes > lmfao
[ 2011.04.16 04:01:34 ] Demortes > “Garheade, I did what you wanted, now let me out from under this couch.”
[ 2011.04.16 04:01:41 ] Garheade > NOOOO
[ 2011.04.16 04:02:54 ] Mysterion eXe > oh well, worth asking right
[ 2011.04.16 04:03:13 ] Brentum Kaltarr > I think Garheade has some pocket change now… 😉
[ 2011.04.16 04:03:32 ] Krispy Dingo > he could spot the whole channel a billion apiece 😉
[ 2011.04.16 04:08:51 ] Krispy Dingo > if you’re going to keep him under there, you can at least make him “dance” for his food and give him a mic
[ 2011.04.16 04:09:00 ] Garheade > maybe
[ 2011.04.16 04:12:51 ] Mark726 > lol
[ 2011.04.16 04:12:59 ] Mark726 > /emote wishes he was there
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:01 ] Angus McDecoy > WHAT THE MOTHERLESS WHAT IS THIS ABOUT NOT LETTING ME GO?!
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:01 ] Garheade > HEY! Who the hell gave Angus a NEOCOM!
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:09 ] Angus McDecoy > NO, GARHEADE, YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BACK THIS TIME.
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:24 ] Garheade > Thats fine, your stuck under that couch forever!
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:26 ] Mark726 > ANGUS
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:30 ] Mark726 > RUN ANGUS RUN
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:49 ] Angus McDecoy > I’m still under the couch, I’m just getting really good at grabbing things off the seats suddenly.
[ 2011.04.16 04:18:53 ] Garheade > Hows he supposed to run when he has a couch on him? Mwuaaaaa
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:22 ] Demortes > /emote runs to the couch…
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:31 ] Garheade > /emote kicks demo
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:31 ] Chainer Cygnus > Damnit Angust…
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:31 ] Demortes > /emote farts under the couch.
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:35 ] Chainer Cygnus > Angus*
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:38 ] Angus McDecoy > Who the hell is Angust?
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:41 ] Mark726 > /emote breaks into Garheade’s house
[ 2011.04.16 04:19:51 ] Chainer Cygnus > Angus is my fingers disobeying me
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:01 ] Angus McDecoy > AS WELL IT SHOULD BE.
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:30 ] Chainer Cygnus > Ah shut up.
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:38 ] Garheade > /emote kicks Angus again for Krispy
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:45 ] Angus McDecoy > YOU SHUTUP– OW.
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:52 ] Krispy Dingo > YEA!
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:53 ] Mark726 > /emote ninjas off with a couch
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:55 ] Crimson’s Edge > August is July’s brother
[ 2011.04.16 04:20:57 ] Mark726 > it may not be the RIGHT couch
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:03 ] Garheade > wrong couch!
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:04 ] Mark726 > but I can use a new one…
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:05 ] Angus McDecoy > I was born in July, actually.
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:09 ] Mark726 > same!
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:19 ] Angus McDecoy > WHERE IS ARYDENIKA WITH THOSE DAMNED MONKEYS?!
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:31 ] Garheade > They know where the couch is!
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:34 ] Chainer Cygnus > Don’t make me get the Trebuchet.
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:43 ] Brentum Kaltarr > Wait, what do you want to do with Monkey’s under the couch….. 0_o
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:49 ] Angus McDecoy > Damn right they do, I tweeted it repleatedly!
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:57 ] Garheade > lol!
[ 2011.04.16 04:21:57 ] Angus McDecoy > I AM DISAPPOINTED, MONKEYS. I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED.
[ 2011.04.16 04:22:02 ] Espiritu Earth > oops, LOL, when I was listening to the podcast I thought he said “chainer SICKness”, nothing like seeing it in writing.
[ 2011.04.16 04:22:16 ] Angus McDecoy > Get up, get up, get down with the Cygnus…
[ 2011.04.16 04:22:29 ] Chainer Cygnus > Esp, it’s cool, it happens quite frequently
[ 2011.04.16 04:22:29 ] Stevilll > Sorry Angus, I heard the monkey were offered WAY TOO MUCH ISK to refuse to do the flying monkey bit for an Wizard of Oz remake! 🙁
[ 2011.04.16 04:22:39 ] Garheade > /emote dances to Angus’ song and steps on his hand
[ 2011.04.16 04:23:10 ] Angus McDecoy > DAMN IT GARHEADE. I HAVE TO TYPE WITH THAT HAND.
[ 2011.04.16 04:23:10 ] Relicc > hah
[ 2011.04.16 04:23:32 ] Garheade > Not from under the couch you dont!
[ 2011.04.16 04:23:56 ] Mark726 > /emote stashes his new couch a la Peter in Blue Harvest
[ 2011.04.16 04:24:04 ] Crimson’s Edge > dancing monkeys?
[ 2011.04.16 04:25:03 ] Angus McDecoy > MY. HAND. BLOODYWELL HURTS.
[ 2011.04.16 04:25:34 ] Garheade > Inspctor Delicieous! WTF is he doing here!
[ 2011.04.16 04:25:39 ] Angus McDecoy > HALP.
[ 2011.04.16 04:25:41 ] Angus McDecoy > HAAAAAALP.
[ 2011.04.16 04:26:07 ] Angus McDecoy > I”M UNDER THE FRAKKING COUCH.
[ 2011.04.16 04:26:24 ] Mark726 > FREE ANGUS
[ 2011.04.16 04:26:27 ] Chainer Cygnus > Wait how did he get a handgun? Dust isn’t out yet!
[ 2011.04.16 04:26:59 ] Angus McDecoy > SUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!
[ 2011.04.16 04:27:04 ] Brentum Kaltarr > Hope you guys haven’t lost your honour, that’ll get you shot you know…
[ 2011.04.16 04:27:06 ] Garheade > Chainer after him!!!!!
[ 2011.04.16 04:27:14 ] Chainer Cygnus > Yeah!
[ 2011.04.16 04:27:15 ] Angus McDecoy > What the hell po-duck station am I stuck in? All they’ve got are n00b ships…
[ 2011.04.16 04:27:19 ] Angus McDecoy > Oh well, screw it.
[ 2011.04.16 04:27:55 ] Mark726 > RUN ANGUS RUN
[ 2011.04.16 04:28:09 ] Garomero > Damn it Where did he go!!!!
[ 2011.04.16 04:28:15 ] Angus McDecoy > Or… well. Warp, anyway.
[ 2011.04.16 04:28:18 ] Garomero > Shit chainer get the ships
[ 2011.04.16 04:28:25 ] Chainer Cygnus > Already on it!
[ 2011.04.16 04:28:42 ] Brentum Kaltarr > He said Ships, not Chips, Chainer.
[ 2011.04.16 04:28:44 ] Angus McDecoy > My gods… a jumpgate…. it’s soo… beautiful…
[ 2011.04.16 04:29:54 ] Garomero > damn it we are so unorganized!!!
[ 2011.04.16 04:30:02 ] Angus McDecoy > One, Two! TWO Jump Gates! Ah. Ha. Ha.
[ 2011.04.16 04:30:09 ] Stevilll > but you have chips 🙂
[ 2011.04.16 04:30:09 ] Mark726 > lol, any signs of Stockholm Syndrome?
[ 2011.04.16 04:30:43 ] Angus McDecoy > That’s where I get crazy- rich from exploting my captors for ransom, right?
[ 2011.04.16 04:30:53 ] Garheade > he’s headed for ouletta!
[ 2011.04.16 04:31:12 ] Chainer Cygnus > Got it!
[ 2011.04.16 04:31:30 ] Mark726 > …there’s no ouletta?
[ 2011.04.16 04:31:37 ] Angus McDecoy > OUELLETTA
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:09 ] Angus McDecoy > HAAAAALP/.
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:14 ] Garomero > Our scouts have him!!!!!
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:14 ] Angus McDecoy > I’m BEING SHOTTED. HAAAAALP.
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:23 ] Angus McDecoy > OUELLETTA Belt 1
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:24 ] Harrigan VonStudly > uh oh. warp scram noob ship me thinks
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:35 ] Garomero > say goodnight angus!
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:45 ] Angus McDecoy > Goodnight Angus
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:47 ] Harrigan VonStudly > eject eject
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:51 ] Mark726 > 22 jumps out 🙁
[ 2011.04.16 04:32:54 ] Mark726 > lol
[ 2011.04.16 04:33:13 ] Garomero > scram him! hes gonna get out in his pod!
[ 2011.04.16 04:33:15 ] Alexander Jihad > now i wanna know
[ 2011.04.16 04:33:53 ] Garomero > podded him…
[ 2011.04.16 04:33:58 ] Garomero > I guess he’s safe
[ 2011.04.16 04:34:51 ] Brentum Kaltarr > You’re doing Angus a favour Garamero, better than being podded by those nasty pirate types. *shudder*
[ 2011.04.16 04:34:56 ] Krispy Dingo > haha, look at all you reds
[ 2011.04.16 04:35:19 ] Garomero > Krispy, your next?
[ 2011.04.16 04:35:20 ] Angus McDecoy > HOLY MOTHER OF BALLS. THEY PODDED ME.
[ 2011.04.16 04:35:45 ] Garomero > Thats right damn it! Angus!
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:07 ] Stevilll > uuuhhhh… Angus… your clone wasn’t by chance under the couch was it?!?!?!? :O
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:20 ] Garomero > HAHAHAHAHA!!! We hav and Agnus body!
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:23 ] Angus McDecoy > Nope.
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:38 ] Angus McDecoy > THIS IS M’NEW CLONE THIS IS M’NEW CLONE LA LA LA LA-LA LA LA.
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:48 ] Mark726 > YOU’RE FREE
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:49 ] Garheade > Alright. I have a phone call to make
[ 2011.04.16 04:36:53 ] Harrigan VonStudly > instant shower of new pod goo for angus. \o/
[ 2011.04.16 04:37:08 ] Angus McDecoy > At least this podgoo doesn’t smell like dead fish ass.
[ 2011.04.16 04:37:08 ] Stevilll > and there was much rejoicing!
[ 2011.04.16 04:37:24 ] Harrigan VonStudly > lol
[ 2011.04.16 04:37:24 ] Mark726 > \o/
[ 2011.04.16 04:37:30 ] Angus McDecoy > LA LA LA LA-LA LA.
[ 2011.04.16 04:38:02 ] Garomero > Damn it!
[ 2011.04.16 04:38:28 ] Mark726 > well, it’s been fun, I have some stuff to do planetside
[ 2011.04.16 04:38:31 ] Mark726 > enjoy freedom, angus
[ 2011.04.16 04:38:50 ] Angus McDecoy > Gratzi, gratzi.
[ 2011.04.16 04:38:59 ] Angus McDecoy > Thanks for all the fish.
[ 2011.04.16 04:39:02 ] Stevilll > prego
[ 2011.04.16 04:39:08 ] Angus McDecoy > HOLY CRAP IF I DON’T HATE THAT REFERENCE NOW. GAH.
[ 2011.04.16 04:39:11 ] Garomero > Enjoy your freedom angus